Undivided attention, the secret ingredient to healthy relationships in our lives
Relationships today are very subjective when it comes to whom we have a realtionship with in our lives. Some people have healthy and unhealthy relationships. Relations with out family, romantic partners, professional and even friendships can be impacted by undivided attention. Regardless of what type of relationship you have, giving undivided attention to anyone of these relationships can improve, educate and strength them in many differents ways. However, divided attention can hurt and destroy relationships as well. In this article we will see how attention can help and hurt our relationships with our children, partners, co-workers and friends.
Divided attention leading to lack of respect and quality
We have fast life out there, everything wants our attention, our cells phones, television, social media etc. We have grown to allow everything to steal our attention and as a result we cannot focus on one thing and give our 100% attention to it because we have been indirectly trained not to everyday in life. However, what this does….. is lead to a negative experience with human relations. We have grown to believe that when people are speaking us, what is said on facebook or whatever it saids on our cell phone is 70% more important than what is being said to us face to face…what a disgrace!. We as humans are juggling all this stuff while trying to have meaningful relationships, then wondering why those relations fall apart and or fail. News Flash! pay undivided attention!!….get off your cell phone when communicating with your children, stop doing 2 or 3 things when a co-worker is speaking to you about something on the job, listen to your partner and look at the them when they are talking to you (Men and Women). This is basic common curtesy practice that killing us!!! I can hear excuses now, “well…Scott …I have so much to do, its hard for me to pay attention with everything I have going on today”….what that really saids….is…your cell phone is more important and your so addicted to see whats on social media, whom sent you emails in that moment and your eagar to look at amazon prime at the hottest deals during prime day..leading you to implusively buy stupid shit, that you dont really need! The disrespect you have just shown to the other person…blows over your head, resulting in…the fact that you don’t have clue as to what was said and you missed an opportunity to have top quality time with the other person. Trust, if someone you were speaking to said you won the lottery….your undivided attention would be solid gold! so do not give me that B.S. about….I cant do that im too busy! We live in a cause and affect world, if you do not do… a, b and c…….x, y and z will have an outcome based on if you did a,b c….when you needed to do it. If you do not do, what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, you can expect negative consequence… and thats real talk. Give your undivided attention!…. to your relationships because if you don’t,… the other person will a hard time respecting you, that is the consequence. Why? because you did not show undivided attention when you were suppose to show it which caused the outcome of a fractured relation. Sorry to break the news to you about how people feel when you do not give them the attention they deserve….. actually im not sorry at all, get your ass in gear and show your realtionships some respect!
The impact of divided attention
When we give divided attention, it sends message to the other person that we are not giving them the respect they deserve, or we do respect them enough to listen while looking at them…its killing us!! When that message is interpreted by the other person….we have lost the respect, quality and learning opportunity in our relationship which can have a long term affects on how others see us. Undivided attention is not something out there for us to just know, its out there because we need to practice it daily. This is basic stuff people, not astrophyiscs!
Practicing undivided attention leads to positive outcomes
Practicing undivided attention has many benefits, You will have the repsect of that person you are paying attention to, you will learn more about yourself and the other person your with in that moment, there is a better overall satisfaction in your relationship, whether that is with your partner, child, co-worker etc. Doing small things such as looking at the person when they are speaking to you instead of your cell phone goes a long way!!! Quit looking at your cell phone, it does not think your attractive! When it comes to your children…go do something with them and put away your cell phone!! you have a better chance to give your undivided attention with out it in your hands, this actually allows you to enjoy your time and be in that moment with your kids,… instead of thinking about who hit you up on instagram! when your child are trying to have quality time with you. Studies have shown, children want their parents’ undivided attention and that is the bottom line. Remember, its your family! your family should be more important than your cell phone! The cell phone is your largest enemy! and guess what? you cant even have a interpersonal relationship with an app, like you can with humans! If you have a relationship with a partner (Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, Wife), stop doing other stuff while speaking or listening to them and give your partner undivided attention, have some respect! The reason why couples and marriages have problems today is because they have respect problems! how do I know this? (The numbers state that 58% of romantic partners…say that the main issue in their relationship is the lack of respect) The aspect that I stated above about giving your partner undivided attention…results in people having respect for their partner. When you pay more attention to your cell phone than your partner speaking or listening, you a 58% chance of your partner not respecting you…yikes!!! This can lead to other problems in your relationships and now you have more issues with your boyfriend, girlfriend and or spouse, has the volcano exploded yet! it sure is getting close! In professional relationships, if you are having a meeting…sit your ass down and pay undivided attention to whom ever is speaking..why?…because, it sends message of?….you guess it…respect!…stop what you are doin…. pay undivided attention to what is going on.…whatever is happening in your email, in social media or on your cell phone (unless its an emergency), IS NOT IMPORTANT!…The same practices and values also apply to friendship, give your friends your undivided attention when they are speaking to you or when speaking to them. IT WILL HELP STRENGTHEN AND IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP…QUIT MAKING EXCUSES AS TO WHY YOU CANNOT SHOW UNDIVIDED ATTENTION AND GET YOUR ASS OFF YOUR CELL PHONE! People, we need to a better job in society…by showing more respect in giving our undivided attention to our children, partners, friends and co-workers! Your facebook comment should not be more important than the list of subjects..I just described! If it is…someone should he-man bitch slap you in to next week!
In the end
Undivided attention can go along way in our relationships and have a positive impact on the people whom we interact with on a daily basis. We also know that…divided attention can harm and rob us of a quality and meaningful relationship with the people in our lives. Remember, practicing undivided attention can make us a better….partner, co-worker, parent and friend at the end of the day.
